Chemical Shift

I went through the old messages in my high school alumni’s egroup and found this funny list that I remembered seeing on some t-shirts years ago. As the set up, you should know that Stanton College Preparatory School was notorious for having very little athletics and mostly college prep courses (like duh, it’s in the name). A couple students made up some shirts with the following top ten list several years after I graduated, which made fun of the situation. Enjoy!

Top Ten Reasons Stanton Doesn’t Have A Football Team.

• Loss of Badminton Funds
• IQ’s Don’t Make Good Jersey Numbers
• Ever See a Nerd Bench 250?
• Chess and Football Schedules Conflict
• Season Too Short to Play at Everyone’s Homecoming
• Polo Shirts Won’t Fit Over Shoulder Pads
• Wingtips with Cleats?
• Seeing the Shirtless Guys at Pep Rallies is Enough
• Knowledge Isn’t That Powerful
• This Neighborhood, Friday Night?